The Irreplaceable Value of Peer Connection: A Clear Imperative
"Nothing great was ever created without enthusiasm." You're likely familiar with this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. My father introduced it to me as a kid (for reasons you'll undoubtedly imagine correctly). From early on, the quote invited the question, "Where does enthusiasm -- positive, focused energy -- come from?" Is it innate or generated? If the latter, can it be generated consciously, repeatedly, and even habitually? In these times of covid, consistent enthusiasm has been hard to generate individually, within teams, and certainly organizationally. Generating it has been hard, often by a force of will, with most results being less than stellar. How then, as we "break" for the holidays and enter the new year, can we more consciously create enthusiasm within ourselves and others?
Hint: It's not social media (with irony noted).
The answer, unsurprisingly, is the irreplaceable value we get from safe, empathetic, empowering human connection. "Of course it is" you may say... yet fundamental questions quickly ensue: "Who with?", "At what frequency?", and "In what form?" No doubt, safety and positive energy start with personal relationships with family and friends. Professionally, however, it's been harder. Even when we were working face-to-face and not social distancing questions would arise inhibiting our willingness to engage and stay connected with others: "Who do I open up to?", "Who do I be vulnerable and explore ideas with?", "Whose best-suited to provide me with positive energy?" Reciprocally, "Who can I best energize?" While many people can supply positive energy (e.g., friends), "Who can provide positive energy and help me move forward with my work with more clarity and confidence?" In short, the answer is "peers." While this might seem like a no-shit statement, there's mounting evidence that peer-to-peer relationships are ad hoc at best. This means there's huge runway to add more value to ourselves, others, and, if you're an organizational leader, to those you serve.
While there are a host of nuances and justifications for why peer-to-peer programs are increasingly imperative, particularly with remote work, I'm simply going to make a few key call-outs then introduce you to someone who has an uncommonly inspiring and actionable narrative on this topic. The call-outs:
We're all limited by time. Our capacity to hold space for someone is limited, both energetically and time-wise. As such, finding and nurturing the "right" relationships is key.
Not all are skilled at holding space for others, nor are they skilled at being vulnerable and openly considering solutions that didn't come from them. Criticism and "telling" are not part of these interactions. Compassion and question-asking are.
Effective peer-to-peer interactions can develop from long-established relationships as well as new ones. New relationships set the stage for greater appreciation of diversity and, in turn, inclusion.
Few peer-to-peer interactions will be perfectly equitable. Equity, however, should be the goal. This reality builds the case for multiple peer-to-peer relationships.
Structuring peer-to-peer interactions is critical: frequency, responsiveness, respect, affirmative inquiry, growth-mindset, etc. These and other concepts can be part of ground-rules to accurately set expectations and, in turn, meet them.
The introduction: Aaron Hurst is an extraordinary human being. He walks the talk. After several successful ventures he's elected to build a public benefit corporation devoted to nurturing peer-to-peer relationships at scale. After speaking with him recently, it dawned on me how peer-to-peer relationships in my own life have been invaluable. Most have happened organically and one, in particular, has developed some structure. With a long-time friend and colleague we share "Gratitudes & Intentions" each morning via text. At the end of each day one of us with prompt the other with a simple, "How did it go today?" This simple act makes me feel seen, heard, and empowered, and it also makes me feel helpful as we'll share a quick call if the other needs a boost. To quote Aaron on this theme:
"Every time I've done a peer coaching conversation, I get this crazy wave of energy. I feel like I can work another 10 hours because when we're able to be vulnerable it's amazing what that oxytocin release does in terms of pulling us forward. It's fundamentally not energizing to engage in social media. It drains us, and it's basically draining us at the profit of the companies that are doing it. It's sucking a resource out of us and that resource is energy. Peer coaching puts energy back into us."
To learn more, click the image above to watch his presentation and our discussion on the topic. You can also listen to it on the People Data for Good Podcast. Finally, here's a link to a recent case study on how peer coaching can add to a company's culture. After all, if your organization is going to continue to create great things, then it's going to need to nurture ways to maintain and enhance enthusiasm over time. Peer coaching is a simple, inexpensive, proven way to do this.
Thanks for giving this a read, and to makin' great things happen!
